Liyana's Eyes

tell me

2009-12-20T07:57:00.000-08:00

Tell me I'm pretty...

Tell me I'm charming...

Tell me I'm beautiful too...

Tell me I'm amazing...

Tell me everything I wanna hear....

Are you listening... Whoever you are?

random updates, feelings, words, thoughts. TADAA!!

2009-09-17T06:09:00.000-07:00

what should this post be about?

TEEHEE

Well, let's just be random

Dad hates lok yuk.
Might be going to Sri Insan next year.

Brownies for Love?
How pathetic is that?

Me? Biggest Loser?

Uncle Joe and Dad!!! You're so mean!!  (hahahahah. funny though)

60th Anniversary Vid a success!
a J.AM Production!

Puasa almost over.
Raya is coming my way!

Got RM10 duit Raya from Pn Afizah today.
How nice....

One in here, one in there.
one for ME!

I had you
Right there.
But lost you.

Why do I not seek your name?

I'm a good girl!
I SWEAR!!!

Haven't made out in a long time. (hahahahahahaha. crack myself up)

If I became a lesbian, would my friends still love me?

How about if I was Bi??

Hmmmm...

AHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!! That was random....

Painted my nails.
They SHINNY!!

Should I cut my hair?

My fringe is long.

RAYA MOOD!!

i like random.

its gonna take me a long time to colour and position each one of these.

but i gots time... TEEHEE!

I'm afraid to love you.

I <3>

I think God did this for me.

Thank You, God

I wrote an amazing essay today.
707 words.
Topic? MUSIC.
Like DDUUUHHHH!!!

"You are the music you choose"

damn right.

Can't think of anything else to say.

But still,
all I think of is "Who will be next?"

GLEEEEEE!!!

Liyana = Gleek!

DAMN STRAIGHT!!!

are you angry at me?

i have every right to be angry at you!

fat? YOU LEH?!?!

fine!

CHILLAX!!!

ok. chilled.

ok well, CIAO!

Years ago...

2009-09-11T07:41:00.000-07:00

GOSH!!!

I was looking through my 2007 year book, and I saw pictures of myself.

GOSH I WAS SOOOOO "ATTRACTIVE"!!!

urgh.

I mean, seriously!

WHAT THE HELL??

I know i'm not like, FREAKISHLY fat or whatever, but honestly.... I looked pretty BAAADDDD....

sigh.

Like, I had boy friends then, and seriously, what did they see in me?

I had braces, a weird BIG ass smile, bad hair all tied back and clipped like a stupid nerdy good girl, and... well.... I guess that's it...

But NNNOOOOOWWWWW
I lost the braces, still have that BIG smile (but its nicer), my hair is better (got bangs and shit), and well, I guess I dress better.

So, this leads me to my next question.

If guys loved me then when I was SOOOO "attractive", why don't guys love me now that I'm BETTER than before??

FOOORRRRR RRREEAAAALLLL!!!!!

like, URGH.

I think 2009 is the year I change everything.

"When you turn 16, your world changes."

I've heard this before I turned 16. Thought it was crap.

Turns out.....

IT HOLDS TOO MUCH TRUTH!!!

Like even last year...

I had bad hair.

Bad skin.

Just bad looks I guess.

My jeans were baggy.

My shirts were plain.

I didn't wear accessories.

and just plain... PLAIN.

But at 16!!

WOOHOO!

I got nice blouses.

Skinny jeans.

Nice shoes.

Better bras.

Good jewelery.

Nice perfume.

Better hair style.

Just BETTERRRR...

Soooo.... yeah.

I'm waiting for your call, guys...

hahahha

that sounded lame.

and shitty.

and pathetic...

sigh.

well, I'm done complaining.

Lazy to colour this thing.

ciao

My confession to you, darling

2009-08-23T19:31:00.000-07:00

Darling,

I can't face his question.

I know both roads would hurt one of us in some way.

There's is no way to do anything without hurting someone.

Its either I hurt myself, or I hurt him.

But I don't wanna hurt him like you hurt me.

So tell me, what do I do?

I know you couldn't possibly help me.

So why do I even bother asking you, you may ask.

Cuz I just needed a reason to talk to you.

SUBJECT CHANGE

Searching for you still....

Its been maybe more than a week since I wrote to you. But you haven't replied. You haven't been here.

Where have you been?

The only reason why I'm here is to see if you are here too. But the result disappoints me. Always.

Have you disappeared for good this time?

Maybe this heart should lose it's feelings for good this time too.

NEW SUBJECT (kinda. but still continue from previous subject)

Falling in and out of love....

But the problem is, I never fell out of love with you.

i DID stop loving you, cuz that was the right thing to do.

But I think, if a person doesn't fall out of love, and just stops loving another, it is TOO easy for that person to fall BACK in love with that other person.

Making any sense?

It does in MY head...

So darling, do something that will make me fall out of love with you. And NOT just stop loving you cuz its the right thing to do.

Nothing is "right" without you.

NEW SUBJECT

Filling this heart with too much emotion...

There has never been a moment when I wasn't smiling when I was with you.

My heart races when I see you.

My heart STOPS when you say something. :)

My heart skips a beat when you come close.

My heart jumps up and down when I'm with you.

But why can no other do that?

There WAS one other. But that "other", I could never have. Not that I want that "other" anymore. (hehehehe)

I've locked you away some time ago. But I save you, if I ever needed you again.

But it seems, I have never really fastened the lock properly. And I let you seep out now and again.

END

The chances of someone reading this is LOW. So, I don't care if I'm the most pathetic person in the world right now.

Like I said, "You ain't seen pathetic, until you've seen ME"

im sorry, darlingS

2009-08-21T19:18:00.000-07:00

I'd send a postcard to you, dear
cuz I wish you were here......

Cuz when I'm with him,
I am thinking of you.

Tell me darling do you wish we'd fall in love?
All the time. All the time....

ssiiigggghhhh....

Is it wrong to be with someone when you're still wishing for someone else?

He doesn't make me laugh, like you do.
He doesn't have that memorable smile, like you do.
He doesn't have those beautiful eyes, like you do.
He doesn't have a lot of things you do,
but the difference is, he's taking his chance...

My heart is torn in two, thinking about you.

And I miss you.
And I hate you.

And I anxiously wait for you to appear.
But its been so long.
And waiting for you is too tiring.

I've given up on trying to give up.

Would it be wrong to be with a person just for the sake of being with that person?

I know it would.

What if I don't love him?

You got it, you got it. Some kind of magic.
Hypnotic, hypnotic. You're leaving me breathless...

giggles

2009-08-13T01:41:00.000-07:00

WHAT IF I NEVER GET TO SEE YOU AGAIN?!?!?!
urgh. This is so frustrating!

I want you to want me.

I just wanna get to know you. Cuz what i feel right now, is an attraction. I wanna know if I should go along down that road and finally fall for you.

In other words, "I've heard your melody, and its stuck in my mind. Now I wanna know the lyrics, and see if its a song I wanna sing."

IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK??

ssssiiiggggghhhh.....

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE, GOD!

Let me have the chances.

teehee

me and my heart, we got issues.

2009-08-07T21:44:00.000-07:00

I've been really tryin, baby! Try'na hold back this feelin' for so long. But if you feel, like I feel, baby. Then C'mon. OH C'MON!!!
let's get it on!

I can't help but smile when I hear that song. HEEEHEEEHEEEHEE....

Oh crap. I can't remember what I was gonna write about.

Oh! I remember now.

ehm ehem...

Its nice to be appreciated.
Its nice to be fancied.
Its nice to be liked.
Its awesome to know that you are LOVED.
teehee.

Well, I have this issue in my heart. Why aren't I good enough?

Recently, someone I love made me feel like I was such a disappointment. Pathetic. Worthless. Useless. NOT GOOD ENOUGH.
No, these words did not come out straight from that person's mouth. But what he was saying to me, about how I am, made me feel like NOTHING. Like I AM NOTHING.

It hurt me so much. To hear him criticize me was like a blade stabbing me with every word.
It has happened before. But I don't know what happened different this time, I just can't seem to forgive him. I have this HATE in my heart for him.
Yes, I will always love him.
But right now, I can't even look him in the eye.

And I haven't looked at him in the eye these few days. I have however, exchanged few words with him. Like normal stuff.
Its been two days since that incident. And it has never taken this long to act as if it didn't happen. It usually takes me a few hours. But it has been more than two days now.

Even now, I don't think I can ever open myself to him anymore.

OK! CHANGING SUBJECT!
Thank you for closure. I know now. xD
Thank you for appreciating me.
Thank you for "falling" for me.
It makes me happy to talk to you.
It puts a smile on my face when you have time for me.
But I have to say that my heart is closed to you now. It is no longer for you.
Try as you might, you and I know it will never be good.
As much as I have wanted you, I must say that now I know I can never have you.
And it does not hurt me to know this truth. It used to. But not now.

But thank you for everything. I will never forget you, for you have helped me find closure for something very important to me.
"Try not to miss me when you're away"
*smile*

Loser no more

2009-07-30T05:51:00.000-07:00

Right now I'm supposed to be ironing my uniform for school tomorrow. But, whatever.

All I can think about is how I feel towards you. Which is nothing.

i NOTHING you.

I know that it's over now. I feel nothing. You feel nothing.
Maybe I held on to you the way I did, because you actually looked me in the eyes, and saw me. For me. And most of all, you LOVED me. For me...

You loved me when I looked terrible.
You loved me when I wasn't my best.
I wasn't the most fantastic.
But still, you loved me...

But there's nothing left now.
And I'm not hurt.
I knew this was going to happen.
I was waiting for it.

But what bothers me now, is that there's no one who sees me for me anymore.
There's no one who feels the way you did about me.
It feels like there's no one who looks at me, and sees all the great things I am.

Why is that?

Why don't people see me the way you did?

How did you see my depth?
Why were'nt you a normal guy and just look for a easy, shallow girl?

How did you see my beauty?
Why were'nt you a normal guy and just look for a HOT, sexy girl?

How did you see my confidence?
Why weren't you a normal guy and just look for one of those "damsels in distress"?

Why did I, considering all the things I am, and am not, attract you?
How did I make you fall for me?

How did I, by just being me, make you love me?

I am so much.
I have so much to offer.
But why doesn't anyone see that?

I am not a loser anymore. Because I am not in love with you anymore.
Hence, the title....

I. AM. A. LOSER.

2009-07-15T01:00:00.000-07:00

THE LOSER THAT'S IN LOVE WITH YOU

a.k.a. = ME

You ain't seen pathetic until you've seen me.
You ain't seen a loser until you've seen me.

Half true....

2009-07-11T08:07:00.000-07:00

"You lose sleep over me, cuz I'm constantly running around in your mind and in your dreams."
"You lose your appetite cuz of me."
"You write songs about me."
"You miss me."

All those things you said (and more) are only HALF true...

I don't lose sleep over you. Well, not anymore.

I have never lost my appetite over anyone.

Yes, I write songs about you.

And yes, I miss you.

But you will never know. Well, maybe you will. But not now.

I"m trying my best to not give in to your charm.

You break my heart. All the time. And I can't trust you with my heart.

But you make it too easy for me to keep falling for you over and over again.

You missed your chance. But you said I missed mine.

What would it have been like together, I often wonder.

I think it would've been better than everything we already were.

But I've been dreaming too long.

I wanna wake up. Put the memory of you in a box. Lock it away.

But you come back, just when I forget you.

I don't wanna say I want you to go away.

I don't want you to.

But every time you come back, my face lights up. My heart lights up.

AND FOR WHAT?!?!?

For the pathetic little memory I save in my heart?
For the pathetic little fantasy I have in my heart?
For the pathetic little feeling I keep in my heart?

It shouldn't be like this.

But I'll take what I can get.
I'll take whatever little piece of you I can get.

And I'm sorry that I broke your heart to pieces, spat on it and ran it over.
But it's vice versa, Baby... VICE VERSA...

I know I'm special. Thank You for being the one to notice, and actually liking my specialness...

"This is the part where you break my heart.
Where you tear it all apart.
This is when you tell me goodbye.
Let go of my hand. And leave me there."

UPDATE!

2009-07-11T02:31:00.000-07:00

Married.
LOL.
On Wednesday, I married Michelle Seck Wei Qi (is she gonna be mad that I wrote her full name? TEEHEE!) on FaceBook. She didn't taste like Cherry Chapsitck. Soooo disappointing. I divorced her after maybe an hour, cuz I wanted to marry someone else. HAHAHAHA. If I could've stayed married to her, I would've. But I couldn't... AWwwwwWWWwww.... Too bad...

We had an AWESOME lesbian bitch fight about our "marriage" on FaceBook. Its UBER funny!! So, yeah. The divorce was finalized and I married someone else. TEEHEE. All the comments about us being married were really funny. TEEHEE.

I cut my hair yesterday. If I knew how to style it right, my hair would totally be THE SHIT! Like, its SOOO rocker man! I've got bangs now, and my hair is thinner, and lighter, and so much nicer. Mom liked it FULL! But it was so hot under all that hair!

Anyway... I'm going to see the monkeys (the ones with the really big nose and eternal erection) and the fire flies tomorrow. TEEHEE. With the American volunteers for Habitat for Humanity. Its gonna be fun!

OH! Our school had "mini sukan" on Thursday. I didn't qualify for cakera, peluruh (so disapointed) OR running (like DUH). But I think I might have qualified for Javelin. TEEHEE. I've tried that before and SUCKED at it. This time, dunno why, I did it well. What does that mean for the future? TRAINING. UNDER THE HOT SUN! MISSING CLASS! NNNOOOOO!!! Can I NOT join? I guess I could... TEEHEE.

Our class lost its "Buku Urus Diri". And now everyone has to pay RM10, that's right, TEN DOLLARS! For one tiny little book that I don't even use. Like hell I'm gonna pay money for something I don't use. Yeah, I use the toilet, but mostly during recess. And in the four years I've been in that school, I think I only ever really needed to use that tiny book FOUR times... JUST four.... So, yeah. Send me to Lily. Call my parents and everything'll be alright. TEEHEE.

I made brownies today! They're not sweet enough though... Sad... But still. I like eating them... TEEHEE.

Every one's getting sick now. OH NO! beware... TEEHEE.

Science and Math to BM??!! Another reason for us to doubt them....

Performing Arts, Culinary, Event Management, Hotel Management, Resort Management.... WHICH ONE??!?!

Pants getting baggy at the ass area, means, ASS IS SHRINKING!!! NOOO!!! (good thing to I guess. NEW JEANS!!! TEEHEE!!)

Australians are funny! Mychonny, Yourchonny, communitychannel. AWESOME!!!

I read your blogs too!!!

CIAO!

it's been a long time...

2009-07-05T22:29:00.000-07:00

I know its been a while since i wrote anything. Since April to be exact. Which makes it ALMOST three months since I last wrote anything.

I'm going to delete my last post, where I poured my heart and soul out and shit. Yeah. There it goes *delete*

Well, I can't actually delete it while I'm typing this. But by the time anyone reads this, it'll be gone.
Wait... No one really reads my blog right? Oh well... Whatever...

its July now. (DUH.. Like you didn't know that already?) And... What's been happening? Not much. Just drama. Well, DRAMA and Drama competition.

Well, what's life without drama?

Anyways. About HS! teehee. (my fav subject)
Garry is still Mr. P
I'm still HS VP
and G is still the Founder (like DUH. Founder can't be changed)

Aaron is SUDDENLY REALLY HS!! I know he's my slave and all, but he has never been that HS.
And the things he says bah!!! Like, SERIOUSLY!! I felt mentally harassed...

Today, I was:
Mentally harassed AGAIN by Aaron. (Dude... you DONT wanna know. Actually, if you were HS, you'd wanna know... TEEHEE)

Stabbed by Garry. (Why you like the backdoor? Why not front door huh??!! Just like up there, you wouldn't wanna know unless you HS. teeheee)

Frightened by this chick who asked me "Apa? Ada masalah?" (I talked about her, and she noticed, and she asked me that. All I said to Adew and Izzat was that I saw her at centre yesterday with the abang from the Canteen! SERIOUS!! And I think she thought that I was mad at her cuz when we(me, G, Maddie) were passing the Lab where her class was, we were talking a bit loud and she SHHHHHed us. Like, REALLY LOUDLY! HOW RUDE! of us... hahaha. NOT her... I DID SAY SORRY!!! DUDE. She could freaking kick my ass! )

Hit by Maddie ( cuz I kept ignoring her questions when she wanted to copy my science note. And I introduced her to this thing I have only ever done with my brother, and I call it "IN MY MIND". Which is something I do to annoy my bro. Its started when my bro and I were in the car... You know that game where you see that turle car, like Mr.Bean's car? Where you hit the person closest to you and your fingers do the PEACE thingy after you've hit them and said "wu gui che" which means TURLTE CAR. Yeah... He saw the car, and HIT me. And I was like, WTF? Then 2 minutes later, I did the same to him. And he was like, "WHERE? I DONT SEE IT!", and I took my fingers and did that GUN shape thing, put it to my forehead and said "IN MY MIND". He laughed so hard. I kept doing that to annoy him. So I did that to Maddie as well. I told her the story, and right after that, I said, "Look! Butterfly! IN MY MIND!!!" and did the finger thingy to the forehead when I said "IN MY MIND". I kept doing stuff like that for maybe ten minutes. And I stopped saying the words, but continued doing the action, and she knew just what I meant. TEEHEE!!)

I just thought about my love life. Wait. What love life???
Well, yeah. I don't have one. Unless you count my fake oneS with some of the boys in my class... TEEHEE... My three husbands and one more, my FIRST one, in some other class... SORRY CHERYL!! teehee.
The last time I had a crush on someone was... I dunno. A month ago?
It was one the same guy I has a crush on last year. Yeah.. If you read my blogs, you'd know who.
He suddenly came back into my life just as my heart was breaking. He seemed to put the pieces back together. He made me happy, jsut when I thought I'd be miserable.

He satyed for a while in my life... he stole my heart. And then? He went MIA... I should've seen it coming. Cuz that's exactly what happened last year.

So yeah... I was a little broken...
But he came back, and made it all better again. And left again.
This 'leaving and returning' thing he does, is SOOOO his trademark.
Well, ups and downs, he made me go through.... (woah.. That was SOOOO Master Yoda!)
Cried over him.
Lost sleep over him.
Wrote song(yes, just one. Well, not even a full one. Just HALF a song. Well, not really even half. Quater lah. Yeah.. 1/4 ONLY) about him.
Fell for him. (Pathetic. I know.)
BUT!!
I got over him as well.
But it hurts to know he left without a goodbye. I mean, did I mean nothing to him?
I know I meant SOMETHING to him once. But do you really just cancel a person out of your life when you think there's nothing there to be done with that person? I mean, he said he ONCE had feelings for me... But do guys just cancel out girls when both sides agree that they're not worth each other's time? DAMN. SO FRUSTRATED.
But whatever....
Its over.
But I hate how he can just pull my heart strings like the puppet master... The last thing I remember he said to me before he left was "luv you".
Here's how it went: (its really short)
purple me, blue him.
ok. well, i gtg change first. so, imma be away for like, a minute or two. try not to miss me so much k, baby?
i'll try my best.
(at this point i checked some of my other stuff like FB before I went to my room. Then he wrote my another msg, which was)
luv you
erm.... love you too?? (really shocked....)
that was new
yeah, we have to try new things everyday to keep things interesting....

ok, like WTF??? Anyways, it didn't mean anything... Which it should have. But I knew it didn't... Its alright... Its all in the past. I'm just telling you cuz its been a while since I wrote. Just writing everything I remember.

So, back to the topic of my "love life".
I DON'T HAVE ONE. Well, not a real one....
That's the conclusion.

Right now I'm waiting for Cheryl to come over. I'm taking her to the Welcome Dinner for the American voulnteers for the charity that my daddy is a Board Member of, Habitat For Humanity. Its a really good charity. Every year, this organisition bulids homes for the poor. AWESOME, RIGHT??? Well, I'm only bringing her cuz she's OBSESED with org putih. And I wanna show her that they're just like us. Well, I'm also bringing her to the Farewell Dinner for the French students who've voulnteered. They weill be closer in age to us compared to the Americans. The Americans voulnteers are mostly Uni students. Some even doing Masters. OLD-NESS!! hahhaah. but WISE.... lol....
And I told her its EXTREMELY CASUAL... Which means nothing to her. Which means she'll be there in heals, make up, fancy accesories and shit. SOOO NOT CASUAL. "brought up like that" she says.... yeah.... well..... yeah.....

Well, I'mma end this now. Cuz I'm hungry!!
Ciao babes! Love you loads!

every broken little piece spilled right in front of you.. for you...

2009-04-18T01:28:00.000-07:00

DELETED

I Killed My Weaknes Yesterday & Silent Motion Family

2009-04-12T04:42:00.000-07:00

Today, 12th April 2009, Sunday, SM Lok Yuk got third place once again at Bakat Interact 2009!!!!

I Killed My Weaknes Yesterday (My band), who consist of Gavin Scott on the Lead, Nadz on the rhythm, Jones Peter on the bass, Jan on the drums, and Me, Liyana on the mic, and Silent Motion Family were the representatives from Lok Yuk.

I actually got the 5th position at first while our school's dance crew got the 9th. I asked them to switch with me cuz I wanted to be after La Salle, cuz we felt that they were our biggest competition. So yeah. We were RIGHT after La Salle. They were 8, while we were 9.

So the dance crew, Silent Motion Family, which is the combination of Silent Motion Crew and XOXO. They did their thing. And it was as good as it gets. But then All Saints dance crew was right after them, and if I were anyone else, I'd forgte about Lok Yuk.. I mean, I'd remember them but more focused on All Saints.

So, a little while before the Band's performance, a lot of them were telling me "Win this for the school!", "You're our only hope!"... Like... Oh shit... Like, PLEASE DON'T LEAVE THE WEIGHT OF THE SCHOOL ON ME!!!

But they did... And I sand my heart out while my band mates played they're hearts out... Pur perfomance was so full of energy! IT WAS F'ING AWESOME!!!

And after I came out from backstage after the performance, I wanted to cry. It was like a whole rollercoster of emotions!! And right when SMC saw me, they came towards me and they were like screaming, "Yeah! You rocked it! We totally won!! We could actually win this!!".... All that kinda stuff... It was awesome!

So, finally, we got third. Same as last year. But I feel that that's GREAT. Cuz a lot of us didn't think we could even place this year... And we did. And I don't wanna honk my own horn, but I feel that my band really helped our beloved school!

I think my rythmist, Nadz was really happy. He kept saying it was his own Birthday present to himself... Like, AWWWWWW!!! He was the one who went on stage to receive the prize, even though I wanted to. I let him, cuz I love him.. I mean, love him as a friend and brother.

I dunno what I'll do next year without Gavin, Jones, and Nadz... Who will be my guitarists? Who will back me up? No one can back me up like they did today...

I'm hoping this year, I'll get to play with them once more... just one more time... Just one more kick ass rock show!!

So, we won thrid this year. We won RM200 and that's probably going to the interact club for like Prom or something...

I am happy. I am... I truly am... I love my friends who made my performance into a rock show. I love my friends who screamed the whole 12 minutes. I love the people from my school who did that too. I thank the people who I dont know who also went infront and screamed and reached for my hand...

Thank You God for this most wonderful experience!

Imma be happy with 'em

2009-03-31T01:33:00.000-07:00

So here's the thing...

I get to bring my band to Bakat.

But this one person, who's opinion means a lot to me, doesn't have faith in us.

Well, she didn't say it like that. She said there would be a lot of problems...

But I thought about it.

And I think, the more people that get this chance, the better.

So what if we suck?

We'll have fun sucking together.

We know in our hearts that we're giving it our all. Sweating our asses off! hahahah (private joke)

We don't care what the score is. Well, I don't. I dunno if the rest do...

Well, I don't care about what the old people think. I care about how the crowd feels.

I care about how much this opportunity means to them.

So, imma try to be happy doing the things we do together. Even though some don't think we can.

But I think I can. I think I can. I think I can!

Liyana, the little girl (and her band) that COULD.

That CAN!

That WILL!!

That will ROCK YOUR SOCKS OFF!!!

My Beautiful Little Mess

2009-02-16T23:46:00.000-08:00

Its beautiful that I love you.
Its also a mess that I love you.

Its beautiful that I want you.
Its screwed up, wanting you.

Its beautiful that I need you.
Its F'ed up that I need you.

You are beautiful. But you are a mess.
You're a freaking beautiful mess.

You have my heart.
But we ARE worlds apart.

You are the brightest star in my night sky.
But will I ever be the dawn you love waking to?

You are my truth that the silence screams.
But will I ever be your whisper in the wind?

My first Medal... SILVER

2009-02-06T01:22:00.001-08:00

Yesterday was the second Sports Day.
My teacher put down my name for the events Javelin and Short Putt. That's Lembing and Peluru for those who dont know.
I totally sucked at Javelin.
And for short putt....... here comes the shock...

I GOT SILVER!!

I know, like, SHOCKING right?

ME? An athlete??? HAHAHAHAHAH...

But yes. Its true.. Imma be representing school now..

And I didnt go to the meeting today... Im starting to wonder if there was one?

Any ways.. I've got nothing to blog about...

No one seems to...

everything changes at SIXTEEN

2009-02-02T23:34:00.000-08:00

"My life changed the moment I turned 16"

We've all heard that before, haven't we? I definitely have...
And as the gap between 15 and 16 gets smaller, I can actually feel it...

I can feel the CHANGE..
Things have changed. Things ARE going to change.
I have changed and AM changing...

I am welcoming this change. Welcoming while hoping its a good change.
Am I changing into someone I wanna be?
Are things changing into what I'd like it to be..

So far...... Its all good...

But... If I pulled everything closer, would it all just slip away?

please dont slip away

this is late

2009-01-17T15:55:00.000-08:00

Going through my photos on my computer, I realized that 2008 was a big year for me.
I have so much to be thankful for.
08 was the year my Music really kicked off.
08 was the year I started making a name for myself
08 was the year I really developed myself in what I love
08 was the year I lost and gained so much more
08 was the year I matured and tried learning to not let little things bother me
08 was the year that will change my life forever

"I wish I could repeat December 08" says Liyana
"NO! You were so busy!" Gina protested
"That's why! It was a great month. All the shows I got to do!" Liyana explained.

TEEHEE

I think I really need to thank God for all this. He has lead me to where I wanna be. He has brought me to places I never knew. Thank You Lord!

Ok. Let's come back to the present.

I wish I could stay in this moment.
The time where school is still not fully settled in yet.
The time where everything is going slow.
The time where I can keep hanging with my friends in class.
The time where teachers are still hardly in class.
The time where there's still time to go out and hang out.
The time where nothing really matters yet.
The time where all of us can tell each other really lame stuff and laugh together.
The time where new things start.
The time right now.
I could repeat these 2 weeks over and over again. Cuz the people I love are all present during this time.
I hope nothing changes. But I know that won't be. Cuz people go away. Well, in my case, just ONE person is leaving. I hope he doesn't. teehee. He makes us all laugh. TEEHEE.

I know its the beginning of the year, but I am SOOOOO happy you guys are in my life. I wanna thank you guys. I can't name everyone, cuz... erm... whatever. Anyways, we'll wait till Dec 09 and see if everyone is still here. Then I'll thank you guys.

HugHugKissKiss!!

(I can't be bothered with colors anymore)

new year, new class, new things to kick ass at!

2009-01-06T00:09:00.000-08:00

So, I don't think I've blogged about anything since the new year. TEEHEE
So, its the new year.... ermmm.... yay?
So far I've only gone through 2 days of school. Not too bad. Getting used to it.
The... erm.... Good or bad part about it is that its on the FOURTH FLOOR. The highest.
Bad cuz it gets so tiring. Good cuz imma be so skinny by the end of this year. TEEHEE
So, yeah. LOL was last year. This year its TEEHEE. For me I mean.
My classmates....hmmmm... are...... INVISIBLE? Well, to me, SOME are.
I have fun with SOME selected people only.
So, you selected people should feel very fortunate that I choose to hang with you.
HAHAHAHA. Yeah, that's just me being perasan.
Yeah, that's something that makes you laugh eh?
So, our teachers keep warning us that form 4 will be a culture shock for us.
Yeah. I'm waiting for that.
So far its not too bad. I think this year will be good. TEEHEE
So, I've got it all planned out.
Bakat Lok Yuk first
Then Bakat Interact
Battle of the Bands
KK Music Fest

Hmmmm... That's what I know of now.
More gigs will surely show themselves to me...

TEEHEE

So, I think I'm done now.

I leave you with a TEEHEE

embrace the rebelious, full of angst, pathetic teen you truly are

2008-12-29T23:12:00.000-08:00

I am 15 going on 16.
I think I'm going through the REAL teenage phase.
Why do I say that?
Cuz I don't care much about anything except having fun.
Cuz I get annoyed too easily with what _____ say
Cuz I never thought I'd go through what I am now.
Which is I hate _____
All I wanna do is have fun.
And _____ is/are giving me lots of crap!
Honestly!
I know who I am.
I know what I am capable of.
I know what I wanna do.
I know how to make things work out.
So freaking trust me! JUST FREAKING LAY OFF!!

What I live for is the love I have for performing. I love the high I get when I'm on stage and people and there showing their support.

I know what I want.

And my stupid results dont count for SHIT.

Its amusing though, I've got 2 A's 2 B's 2 C's 2 D's. hahahahaha

Hey, at least I passed everything. That's awesome.

Oh don't you worry. I have a plan. No matter what, I WILL do what I love.

Watch my ____? I wouldn't have a ____ if you didn't annoy me with stupid unnecessary questions that I'm sick of just saying "yes" too.

Conclusion: I realize i AM now one of those teens that are like "So? What you gonna do about it?"

>:(

Thank You Student Fellowship Night! THE F'ING PARTY OF THEF'ING YEAR!!!

2008-12-29T08:23:00.001-08:00

I just got back from the damn party of the year.
For those who couldn't be there, I feel so sorry for you.

I just wanna say some thanks yous today:

Thank you Kevin Tan for coming into my life and getting me into De Notes. Without you and your school, I wouldn't be the RockStar Diva I am today.

Thank you Gordon Chin for backing me and bringing an energy with you that makes me hype!

Thank you my "darling" Jay. You have backed me with many songs. I know you can totally kick Daniel's ass any day! Thanks for helping me.

Thank you my BRADDER! Victor Ting, for supporting me and laughing with me. Thank you for introducing me to Head Banging, which at first made me dizzy. But cuz of you, I can now head bang so much till my neck get sore and STILL not get dizzy. hahahaha

Thanks Debbie, the greatest Bass player in the world!! Thanks for making the show as great as it was!

Thanks Frederick for giving La Bamba and me JUST the right groove. Just enough to make me dance too.

Thanks Jan, my real bro. I'm real proud of you for doing "I'm with you" with me and nailing it!

Thanks Steve, Ricky and Daniel for dancing with me. You guys helped me lose so much weight tonight! hahaha. Now I know who I can bring clubbing with me when I turn 18. Wait, actually you guys jumped with me too during all the rock. So I know who to bring to concerts too! AWESOME!!

Thanks Daniel once again for dancing with me through the slow songs. Anyone would be lucky to have you. Love you loads!

Thanks...erm... Tim I think, from Blaming Sarah, for taking me by the hand and taking me somewhere new. Hahahahha. I mean, thanks for reaching out to me as I was reaching out to you when I sang the line "take me by the hand and take me somewhere new"

Thanks Darell! Your jump was JUST right. I hope I'll see you soon. Maybe by then you'll get your hair long enough to head bang with me! Oh yeah. You're Darell, and you're HOT!

Thank you to all the bands that played tonight! Erm... I cant remember all your names. All I know is Bread and Jam, and Blaming Sarah. You guys made me JUMP! That other band from Sri Insan I think, I only know one guy wich is Zeb. So yeah, you guys rocked! Thanks for the lollipop!!

Thank you people who supported me and loved me on stage! Without your energy I don't think I would have been so rockin'!

Thanks Marc from Bread and Jam. You told me that you loved that I sweat on stage. Inside I was like "WHAT??". But you continued and said "It means you're giving it your all". Which I totally was! I'll try to remember to give it my all till I sweat! HAHAHAHAH... eeeewwww....

Thanks Gavin Young for taking cool pics. Looking forward to seeing them. You were cute!

My babes Gina and Cheryl. I feel so bad for you guys. I'm sorry you couldn't make it. But I dunno if you would've loved it as much as I do. You guys don't seem like the rocker type. Maybe thats why we're best mates. We're all so different from each other. Love you guys for supporting me whatever! LOVE LOVE LOVE YOU!!

Thanks organizer whom I dont know. I loved playing for the party tonight. Make it a annual thing k? That'll be the most awesome thing!

Thanks Mom for helping me with my make up! And dad for dropping us off and picking us back up.

This was the party of my life yet. 2008 was the greatest year of my life YET!

So, my results and coming out in a few hours. And all I can say is,

" I don't F'ing CARE! I don't care what I get! I don't care what stream you f'ing send me to! Cuz no matter what, I'll still be the most rockin' chick in school!"

THAT'S WHAT'S UP!

So, I guess thats it. Goodnight!

Goodbye 2008!

I'm Liyana. And I'm a SuperRockStarDiva!

And you know you can't resist me!

HugHugKissKiss!

Goodbye 2008

2008-12-28T03:33:00.000-08:00

2008.
How you have brought me happiness and sadness.

This year was BIG for me.
This year was the year I found my place in the music scene.
Well, a SMALL scene. heeheehee

2008 was the year I:
Did not fall in love
Acted most like a teenager
Cried tears of hurt and pain. But joy too
Did not and DID socialize
Embraced angst
Didn't care what people thought and just acted like ME.
Spent too much on clothes
was taught how to use make
made many new friends
grew
fought
learned many new things
discovered new ways of feeling
met great musicians
did too many things that i cant recall

So, I wanna bring in the New Year with a bang.

So, can anyone help me find a BANG?

My Hot List

2008-11-24T00:15:00.000-08:00

I've decided to make a "Hot List"

Feel free to do one too. Any kinda "Hot List" is fine. Just as long as it's HOT HOT HOT!!

My "Hot List" is:

"The Hot Men of Music"

Oh yeah......

1. The Men of Panic! At The Disco
-Brendon Urie
-Ryan Ross
-Jon Walker
-Spencer Smith
(I just think they're HOT!!)

2. Gerard Way (from MCR)
-I like rocker guys like these. Like Brendon Urie and Gerard Way have some kinda weirdness to them that to me is really hot. Gosh I feel like Paris Hilton. "That's Hot".... totally... But its sad that THIS guy is married.. sigh. He would've been on TOP of my list if he wasn't married.

3. The boys of NLT
-Travis Garland
-Kevin McHale
-Justin Thorne
-V Sevani (Yup, brother of Adam Sevani)

4. NeYo
-Dude, he's HOT! He's got moves, makes sick tracks and SINGS!! Like, HELLO!! Do we all really need anymore other reasons to love him? I didn't think so!

5.Chris Brown
-He's like a mini NeYo. But I really hate the fact he's with Rihanna. Sigh. How a heart breaks eh?

6.Jesse McCartney.
-He's cute and has a nice voice. Good producer. Nice tracks.

7. Synyster Gates (Lead guitarist from Avenged Sevenfold)
-The only thing that made me put him on my list was his solo in Afterlife. That's Hot.

8. Jared Leto
-HOT. Thats all I can say. I mean, the fact that he's in a rock band is HOT too. Like I said, "I like rockers"

9.Trace Cyrus and Mason Musso (the 2 front men of Metro Station)
-Like I said. Rockers.

10. Patrick Stump and Pete Wentz
-HOT. I actually like Patrick more than I like Pete. Not only cuz Pete is married and has a baby with Ashlee Simpson. But cuz Patrick has more qualities that I like. hhehehhee.

So, thats my list.

Can't wait to see yours

I don't wanna be here anymore.

2008-11-01T17:59:00.001-07:00

its sounds emo, i know.
But no more please.
No more singing for not me.

I don't wanna be there anymore.
I don't I don't I don't.
I'm not enjoying myself anymore.
I'm not I'm not I'm not.

I don't wanna walk through those doors again.
I just want this phase to end.
I don't like this pressure.
I don't like that you don't understand.

Its the last time for this year. I swear.
But you're never gonna let me end it, will you?
No you won't. Cuz that's what you do.
You just always have to make my like not easy.

I want things my way.
And this time I'm not giving up that easily.
I'm doing this and then ending all of it.
I don't care what you say.
Never again will I do what I don't wanna.

Ciao Darling...

2008-10-30T01:38:00.000-07:00

Or something like that was what you last said to me.
Well, I'm sure you said Darling. hehehe.
Not like I'm getting all hype about it. (Yes,I am)
I call everyone darling or names that relate to darling, and never really expected to get the same response. But suddenly you go and say it. hehehe

"I think I KINDA LITTLE EETY BIT fancy him". Thats what I said to Friend.
Every time I think about you now, my heart giggles. heeheeheehee...:)

Ok, something you should know about me is that I only go for guys that I can imagine myself with. Like, imagine myself with the guy and stuff.

So, like, I can sorta imagine us, yet I can't. Are we not close enough, or do I not know you enough to LIKE like you? Or is it cuz I know we're getting closer and closer each day that I think we're too much of friends to be more than that? sigh.. confusing, confusing.

You're so funny and always make me giggle. heeheeheeheehee....
And most people would say humor is a wall breaker.

What I'm saying is that you make me feel at ease. Like I can be my rough self and stupid silly stuck up self and you won't mind. Which you don't it seems. Cuz I have been like that with you since day one.

I haven't had a crush like this in a while. You would know cuz I told you that I haven't had a crush on anyone in a while. But you don't know that its you.

Wait, I don't even know if I DO really have a REAL crush on you. Like, I just..erm...fancy you? hehehehehe.

Well, we'll wait and see. *SMILES*

in Cathay watching HSM3

2008-10-24T22:18:00.000-07:00

Ok, the funny things that happen when watching HSM3 on the day it was released in M'sia(24th Oct 08).
Gina, Alanna(G's cousin) and I went into the cinema hall and no one was in there. So, we thought we were the only one. We were waiting for Cheryl too. hehehe

Then a few seconds after we found our seats, the hall starts filling with a few teens. All of us are with our own groups. heheh
SO, the funny things were how we all acted while watching the movie.
The was this one group where whenever there was this really serious scene the would start sazying "SING SING SING!". And of course Troy and Gabby would start singing. Then we'd all laugh. HAHAHA.

Ok then, there was this part where Sharpay said some thing really bad to Troy. She told him that the only thing stopping Gabby from going to Standford for some honors program was HIM. Then silence. Then I said "BITCH!". And everyone started laughing. HAHAHA. I didn't know i was that loud! HAHAHA. But it was SOOO FUNNY!!

Ok then there was this other part in the movie where Troy cheers on Chad and goes "And the crowd goes wild!! ahhhh!! ahhhhh!!!" OK Troy was saying that. And as he's going ahhhhh, there was a guy in the crowd who went "Ahhhhhh! I've got asthma!!!" And EVERYONE in the cinema laughed!! HAHAHAH!!! Its was so funny!!

Ok, then at the end, they show the faces of the main characters and Troy was last, and me and some other girls went "Wooh!!" cuz he's just so DAMN HOT!!!

All through the movie, I was like, "G!! HE'S SO HOT!! ALANNA!! HE'S SO HOT!!!"

I wanna just like die in his arms and I'd die a happy teenage girl!!

Man, so that was the best movie experience in my life. And not that i hate HSM, I just get annoyed at how much they're EVERYWHERE. But I LOVE ZAC!! hehehe

OK, I guess thats that. Ciao Ciao!!

Its Almost Over

2008-09-28T23:10:00.001-07:00

PUASA....
Ahhhh, Puasa.
You shall end in two days time.
You have helped me loose some.
You have helped me clean myself
You have also put me through torture
You have made me go almost insane

The end of you means the start of Raya.

Raya....
Ahhhh, Raya.
You shall bring me joy and happiness in two days
You shall help me put on all the things I've lost with Puasa.
You make my Lola make great food
You make my Lolo and Uncles and Aunts and Parents gimme money.
You make me happy, Raya.
Yes you do.

HAHAHAHA

the little things you do to me are...

2008-09-26T09:27:00.000-07:00

TAKING ME OVER...
hahaha
Sound familiar?

OK, anyways..
The little things you do (not necessarily to me) are cute and make me laugh.
Why did I not notice this before?
Why have you suddenly been on my mind more than usual lately?
I like this.
But sadly, it will never be.
The promise we made, was it for real? Or just for fun, for laughs?
It is still funny when I imagine ourselves keeping our word. HAHAHA.
Can you imagine us like that? HAHAHAHA.

I do still owe you that little thing. Make sure you claim your prize before the end of October. ^^
The thing that made me laugh that day was how you'd give up loads just for your prize.
Me : "If your answer is wrong, I won't give you your prize."
You : *Erases answer off papers*
HAHAHAHAHA...

I know the people who read this won't get it one bit.
Cool.

oh thank God

2008-09-12T19:06:00.000-07:00

I'm never doing that again
Oh thank God everything was safe
I almost lost everything
I'll try it next time with a professional

Anyways, I caught you looking at me last night.
I saw that smile. It was cute.

I liked what I saw and I REALLY liked what I heard.
But I don't even know your name. I don't know where you're from.
But we have a month plus to find that out.
So, maybe next week we can sit together for a while?
Get to know what's behind that cute smile.
Looking forward to it.

I can't say

2008-09-02T18:33:00.000-07:00

I can't say I love you. Cuz I don't know if I do.
I can't say I wanna be with you. Cuz I don't know if I do.
I can't say I know you. Cuz I don't know if I do.

I can't say what I feel. Cuz I don't know what it is that I feel.
I can't say what we are. Cuz I honestly don't know what we are.
I can't say that we're like this. Cuz I don't know if we're not that.

I can't say I know what happened. Cuz I don't.
I can't say I know what's GOING to happen. Cuz I don't.
I can't say I know we're gonna be together. Cuz I don't.

Am I angry? Or angry that I'm sad?
Do I hate you? Or just hate to let you go?
Do I love you? Or just love who you WERE.

I'm not sure if I hate you. But I'm not sure if I love you anymore either......

The Days Of My Life... (HAHAHAHAHA)

2008-08-18T01:41:00.000-07:00

Great Three Days in a Row....

Saturday, 16/8/08
SWEPA Toastmasters Installation Ceremony
Victor Ting, Jan and myself.
Songs Played:
-Fly Me To The Moon
-What A Wonderful World
-Put Your Records On
-I'm Yours
-Dream
-Another You (Solo by Vic)

Feedback:
Was SUPER FUN!
Great feedback from everyone.
Kevin was there to check us out.
He says things were good. But I should consider loosing weight. OUCH.
Overall, had wonderful time with great friend and great brother.

Sunday, 17/8/08
16th K.K. Music Festival
(My third time)
I sang "Summertime"
Was super nervous.
Vocalized before the actual competition.
Sang the song a couple of times.
Then the competition.
The first guy was awesome.
He was singing an Italian opera song. Projection was AWESOME!!
Ok, 2nd person. Small girl. Ok for her age. But the other three contestants(including myself) would totally crush her cuz of our mature voices.
3rd, was my schoolmate. She was ok. But projection was not as good as the first dude.
Then me. I sang. Was so happy when singing. Was so in the moment. I thought it was great. Got off the stage with a HUGE SMILE.
Then, prize time. Judge gave comments first. She said the dude had great projection and the other girls did ok. Her comments to me were "like a black singer". Like, WOOHOO much...
Ok, skipping everything. I GOT FIRST PLACE!!! woohoo!! This is the first time I got first in this competition. Got third twice before. That was like, the icing on the cake. The cake was just me singing my heart out. That was already awesome... heheheh

Monday, 18/8/08
Nothing really special today. Went to school. Then after school, dad and I picked up bro from this Bass Guitar and Drum workshop in Halo Cafe at City Mall. Then, when I got there, it was jamming time. So, to make things short, Daniel got on stage, started playing Put Your Records On, and looks at me with a face that signals me to get my ass on stage. After a few seconds of consideration, I got on stage and jammed with them. It was fun. And not only did people see me in my uniform, the saw and heard me SING in my SCHOOL UNIFORM. Which I never really want people to see. LOL.

So, overall. I had a GREAT three days.

Next thing on my list:

ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING!

Saw Jan Again

2008-08-12T07:31:00.000-07:00

OMG. Today at me music place, I saw me ex-vocal teacher's kid there. He needed to meet up with this bass guy for his recording.
I listen to him sing. OMG! IT WAS FREAKING AWESOME! And he messed up one of the lines and he says "Oh, sorry. I just wrote this two days ago."
Like, TWO DAYS AGO?!?! Me, Bro and Vic heard this and we all looked at each other and were like, DAMN!!!!
WOW... We were really in the presence of a TRUE artist. But he like, studies in.. erm... Holland? Yeah.. And I only see him once in a while.
I wanna hear his recording man!! I know it'll be like FREAKING AWESOME!!
Jan, PLEASE SEND ME A COPY OF YOUR ASS-KICKING ALBUM!!!!

Ok, Teddy, being sweet as he is, got me a nice version of Summetime for me to listen to and study for the competition this Sunday. Listening to it now. Trying to scat. HAHAHAHA. CAN YOU IMAGINE?!?!?

Ok, well. hmmm. Thats it.

my cookies.delicious.

2008-08-12T07:22:00.000-07:00

Just look at them. They were perfect. OMG. Mouth watering. HMMMmmmmMMMMmmmMM

terasa lah

2008-08-12T06:59:00.000-07:00

Barang-barang kau yg sya baca ni, sya terasa lah.
Sya ndak tau lah kalau ko cap sya. Tapi, TERASA LAH BAH...
Mungkin kalau ko baca ni, ko juga terasa. Jadi, sama-sama lah kita terasa.

Skarang, sya tengah download lagu yg sya dapat drpd kawan via e-mail.
Lama lah.
Comp cap 45 minutes lagi. Haiya...
Maybe by that time, mommy sya sudah suruh off comp. Tapi lagu ni penting lah.

And I still dunno kenapa sya sedang blog dgn BM. Lucukan?

To Vic:
Sorry ah bro. I ndak sengaja nak kena kau. Sya harap kepala ko sudah ok. Tapi kaki ku belum lagi ok. Jadi, bila sya rasa sakit tu, sya teringat kejadian tu. And sya teringat ko. HAHAHAHA

BAH. Gitu ja lah. Ndak tau nak cap apa lagi.

Mungkin sya blog about other things nanti. hehehehe..

ROJAK-NESS.

can you feel it?

2008-08-11T17:01:00.000-07:00

Can you feel it?
Cuz I can
There's something there.
Its between us

Can you feel it?
Cuz I sure can
We're moving in different directions
We're growing to different lights

Can you feel it?
Cuz I do
I feel the changing air
I feel it changing us

Love you always. Remember that.

shooooh....

2008-08-05T07:24:00.000-07:00

Your words are piercing my heart

So yeah. You get the message. SHUT UP!

London Beckoned Songs About Money Written By Machines (randomness)

2008-08-05T07:16:00.000-07:00

Stop stalling, make a name for yourself.
You better put that pen to paper, charm your way out.
If you talk you better walk you better back your shit up
With more than good hooks while you're all under the gun

Start talking "a sensationalist"
Oh you're slightly clever to just a certain extent
If you talk you better walk you better keep your mouth shut
With more than good hooks while you're all under the gun

missing Gina... HYPER-NESS ROCKS!!

2008-07-31T07:57:00.001-07:00

GINA!!! i miss you.... T.T
I missed this hyper-ness that we share...
I love being HYPER!
EVERYONE SHOULD BE HYPER...
I mean, in a good mood...
I admit, i thought that emo was cool. But notice that its "thought" and not "think". And "was" and not "is"...
Emo is over-rated I feel. Being hyper makes things FUN!
Everyone should be hyper and all happy like.. You know?
Thats why I miss you Gina.. I'm kinda on my own when its hyper time.. HAHAHAHA... Rarely are BOTH Mich and Joyce hyper with me... But its super fun when they are... hahahaha....

Anyways, I just read this post that Mich wrote... and... WONDERING..... hehehehehe
HMMMmmMMMmmmMMMM.... Self-centeredness... is that a word? Well, if its not, its is now... HAHAHAHAHA.... ANYWAYS.... Yes, self-centered people are everywhere. I AM ONE!!! hahahahahahaha.... self centered is different from confidence though... I respect people with confidence and a positive attitude... Its great being positive, ain't it?? hehehehehe....

I think I'm A BIT hyper... hehehehe... Hence the hahahahs and hehehes... hehehehehehe.... LOL.

Well, just posting about random stuff, like, DO YOU KNOW HOW TO MAKE BURGERS?? HAHAHAHAHA....

Oh yeah. Me and Gina went round school and asked people that... hehehehe.... We got a good responce... HAHAHAHA.... FUN!!!

Gina honey, I MISS YOU!!!

ways to break the ice/ my life updates...

2008-07-30T18:56:00.000-07:00

WAYS TO BREAK THE ICE

Well, what I have noticed is, if you start off with really random crap, it'll make that new person that you wanna get to know laugh and make them feel at ease... Thats what happened with me.

One way you can start off is, asking them:
-Hey, do you know how to make burgers?? (LOL!!)

Then start talking about foods you guys like... Food is always a good topic to talk about... But then it makes me hungry... Hmmmm... Feeling hungry now... I wouldn't mind a burger... HMMmMMMMmmm.... Double Cheese Burger from BK(that would be Burger King, if you didn't know)

Oh wait. Im supposed to blog about ways to break the ice...

Well, just stick to random crap.. Like, have you ever tried chocolate chips with potato chips? It taste weird, but a NICE kinda weird. Like, I wanna keep eating it... HAHAHAHA...

OK, me updates...

Hmmmm.... I didn't get to see V at the Sutera Run, cuz he didn't go and my ride was way too late... but its cool... Wait, IS IT COOL??? I guess it is... Cuz there's nothing I can do about it...

So, I have to wait till the end of the year to see him... But I did call him... hahahah... Had a nice conversation with him... Well, what more can I say?... There's not much to update... Maybe I'll update ya'll about THIS particular subject in December. hahahahah

My song...

2008-07-30T18:40:00.000-07:00

I don't know how but I will soon.
I will record this song that I wrote and put it up everywhere!
Me blog, Me facebook, YouTube.. blah blah blah...

Hmmmm.... Come to think of it, I'm kinda scared to put it up... You know, there are really rude people that inhabit this dying planet, Earth. So, I might get like, bad comments and shit like that... But whatever... I'm just happy I wrote a song that I can remember and play on the guitar ALL BY MYSELF!! HAHAHAHA... Well, if you guys know me like I know me, you'd know that I can't really play the guitar. But after a few hours practicing, I can play my song ALMOST flawlessly... hehehehehe.....

OK, fine. Here are the lyrics...

I wanted to write you a love song
But I didn't know the right words to say
I wanted to write you a love song
That would make you smile the way I love

I'm trying to write you a love song
That'll make your heart melt
I'm trying to write you a love song
That'll show you how I felt that day
When you smiled at me
You swept me off my feet

Yes you did. Yes you did.

OK, it sounds better when I sing it. So, don't completely start hating on the lyrics... urgh.. I hate them HATERS... But when I hate, doesn't it make me a HATER too?

hmmmmm....

I love the boys who love to hate cuz they're just like me! hahahahahah

xOXo

Mich is a RACIST!! (mich, u gave me permission dy)

2008-07-26T21:22:00.000-07:00

This is how much of a racist Mich is...

Mich: Eh! *Points at some random guy* Quite Liang oh... Eh, but look like Malay. Dun wan lah...
Lia: *Gives Mich a look*

And this didn't happen ONLY once.... But, MANY MANY MORE times.....

Yes, Mich is NOT racist to me. But Mich darling, did you know that I was Malay when we first met way back in primary 5? No, right??

Its a good thing that Karma hit you darling. Cuz now you know NOT to judge a book by its cover.... I am learning that too... As I too am a BIT of a racist... heheheheh

Together-gether bah!! LOL!!!

don't you just love the colours??

2008-07-17T06:54:00.000-07:00

Don't you just LOVE the colours on my blog??

hehehehehehehe

I DO!!

Its so pretty...

hehehehehe

Don't you think?

Well, if you don't, don't need to tell me..

Mama says "If its not nice, DON'T say it"

But its not like I myself always follow that rule...

heheheheh....

currently.... erm.... hmmmm..... dot dot dot

2008-07-15T18:43:00.000-07:00

So, js updates.
Mich is back in school! YAY! Had a good holiday, darling? LOL. Missed you loads...

So, like, the first 2 lines of the previous blog "me right now to you" happened.. So now js waiting for the rest to unfold.. hehehe

Neil (tiger) read my blog. Neil also happens to know Mr VJrM... SNAP!! And now, I'm js afraid that Mr Tiger will leak me blog to Mr VJrM...

I told my mom about "this guy that I have a crush on"... Din have much time to tell her everything. So reactions were normal. She wasn't surprised when I told her he was a musician.. Well, DUH... Cuz i'm in music too.. Naturally, I'd be attracted to guys who play an instrument.. heheheheh

I have been TRYING to study... But instead 2nd line of THAT blog happened. Couldn't concentrate very well... hehehehhe... But it was so much more fun to be doing that than studying... No, but seriously, I'VE GOT TO STUDY!!

Trial is coming up... FECK... And its the same day of The Sutera Harbor 7KM Charity Run... V(yeah, let's js cut it to this. Js V instead of VJrM) will be there... With Jason hopefully... Missing him terribly... Read blog entry entitled "JASON" to know more about why I miss him...

Ok, so... Right after the last paper of the day, will grab Mich and Joyce and head for home. Get ready and GO! If you really knew me, My friends and I are not the type to run... But this Charity Run that happens every year is a great place to get together and meet people... Social Gathering... Yeah... Thats what it is to us teens...

Cammy's blog is CRAZY LONG!! You can find her link down there in my blog somewhere... I think she post something up EVERYDAY... ITS HER DIARY!!! Like, SUPER CRAZY LONG!! Funny, but tiring... HAHAHAHA... She says "kalah ur blog to mine".... I KNOW... But I don't mind... ehehehehe

We are still not done playing 21 questions.. HE IS A VERY SLOW TEXTER.... It takes him an hour to reply... heheheh... Ok lah, maybe thinking of questions seem to be the problem... But ONE HOUR??? hahahahaha....

I dunno why, but for some reason, I MISS MY BABE... hahahahah... Mich would be disgusted. Cammy would laugh and Vic Bro would do something stupid to tease me about it.... My babe is on youtube now thanks to Vic bro... HAHAHAHAHA.... What song was he playing? hmmmm.... Can't remember. But ya'll don't need to know about my babe... XD!!

I think that's about it for now...

xOXo

me right now to you

2008-07-13T07:15:00.001-07:00

I'm waiting for you to receive it
I'm waiting for your text
I'm waiting for Sunday
I'm waiting for you to win the bet
I'm waiting for your reaction
I'm waiting for what happens next

I wanna know what is it I feel
I wanna know what exactly is it I want out of this
I wanna know your side

I DO know that I just wanna laugh at or with you
I DO know that I just wanna be around you
I Do know that I'm falling even though I just wanna trip

But I don't know if you're falling
I don't know if you're even tripping
I don't know what's the purpose behind "this"
I don't know what will happen

I'm hoping the answers will reveal themselves
I'm hoping things won't change too much
I'm hoping we won't be apart for too long

"XD" "LOL"

My Brownies!!!

2008-07-12T09:31:00.000-07:00

My Brownie Mix! super cuteTRIPLE CHOCOLATE BROWNIE!!

I totally recommend ya'll to buy this!!

I just baked these today (12/07/o8) for my darling Michelle. But of course had to go through De Notes testing! hahaha... Pass bah!!
Just a bit only bah Mich. Don't worry!!

THEY TASTE FREAKING AWESOME!!

urgh

2008-07-12T08:31:00.000-07:00

urgh
urgh-ing cuz i cant post much of what i want to
urgh-ing cuz ME PARENTS READ ME BLOG!!
URGH!!!
urgh....

I now have to be careful what I write.. damn..
So, today, Imma write about this damn nyamuk

This damn nyamuk has gave me THREE stupid nyamuk bites... GRRRR....
I wanna kill it, But I cant find it... GRRRR

stupid nyamuk...

And I found out that is vJRm. not VMJr... hahahah

And yes, VJrM, SAYA BERANI!

2008-07-10T07:48:00.000-07:00

one minute, i feel angry, slamming doors and swearing in my heart
next minute, i feel the hurt. tears fall down my face and i just wanna lie there in my room to rot and die.
now i feel like i cant breath.
screaming along to screamo songs help a lil.
why am i crying? why do i feel this way?
is it cuz i know their right? or is it cuz i cant tell them to go away?

theresthisguy....( no more)

2008-07-09T18:34:00.000-07:00

well, my post here WAS originally about "THIS GUY"...

But I've decided to take it down..

Well, cuz... My blog is out there for anyone and EVERYONE to read..

So that means, HE could probably read it..

I know I'm super bad at hiding my feelings, but THIS I cannot let him know until I'm totally 100% sure that he likes me back..

HAHAHAHAHAH

YES, CHOCOLATE

2008-07-09T06:25:00.000-07:00

YES, CHOCOLATE!!
Yes, Michelle darling.. I will bake you something chocolate this week. Well, I'll try...
HEY!! This would be the best time to use that brownie mix I bought. "Oven ready in THREE minutes", so says the cover.
The packaging is SUPER cute.. Well, nice lah. Not "cute"... But nice... I will upload the pics one day... Maybe after this post...
So, Michy dear, you will have to wait till next week to get your brownies. Or I hope so. Cuz I dunno if they'll make it out the door. You know my bro and my dad. And our stomachs.. heheheh

ITS COOL.....

2008-07-07T06:50:00.000-07:00

ITS COOL... ITS ALL COOL....
That has become my motto..
When things are going a different way then you'd originally want, you go "Its cool.." And go on with life and try to fix things in a positive lay back sorta attitude .
Or when like, your bro wants a bite out of the slice of cake you're having and he asks like really nicely, you go 'Its cool" and you give him some..
Or when like you got some thing but you know some one else wants it and you're ok with giving it to them and their like, "for real? dude. its ok. you got it." You go "Its cool..." and you give it to them.
So, me and my bro have been doing that for some time now.. And well, every thing's cool...
To sum it all up...
Its cool....

JASON!!

2008-07-06T18:08:00.000-07:00

I missed you the second you walked out those doors... T.T
I hated watching you walk away....
The thought of me not being able to see till after.. ermm NOVEMBER?
Sigh...
I MISS YOU, JASON!!!
You were a great accompanist... And still are...
The picture of you that'll last me till our next meeting is of you in your "im a heavy drink, 100% pure" shirt. HAHAHA... Nice way to remember you right? Oh yeah... And you're small eyes that hide behind your glasses.. HAHAHA... No lah.. I will remember you for your music.. And your personality.. You're a great friend, Jason..
Cant wait to see you again...
Good luck in SPM.. YOU CAN DO IT!!^^

I AM SORRY

2008-07-05T09:52:00.000-07:00

Sorry I was so dumb
Sorry I was so blind
Sorry I was being stuck up
Sorry for everything

to My Darlings, Mich and Joyce
(hope you guys get to read it)
Love yall...

i love my bro

2008-07-04T19:32:00.000-07:00

I LOVE ME BRO!
Why? lol... Well, cuz he loves me too!! HAHAHAHA....
Well, some examples of his selflessness is:
He hates the smell of nail polish but that day when I was doing my nails, he helped me remove some nail polish off my finger. And well, I thought that must've been hard on the poor baby, cuz he REALLY hates the smell of nail polish AND nail polish remover. So, that was kind of him to do that for me, cuz I'm hopeless when it come to my right hand... BUT, not only does he do that, he does other things for me too, which I can't really think of right now... But I know one thing for sure, he's a better brother to me than I am a sister to him.. If you guys knew us, you'd know that THAT was TRUE....

Happy Holidays, Michy Dear... XD
You will be missed... HAHAHHA

I F'ING HATE

2008-07-03T04:46:00.000-07:00

I F'ING HATE

Life... Well, only at times...
Now? I sure as hell hate it...
Why? Well, lemme tell you...
But I know some of yall will be like "urgh, another one of those emo kids complaining about how much their life sucks or how the world is screwed up".... Well, first of all, IM NOT EMO. But I CAN be a little emo-ish at time. And the world IS sometimes a lil screwed up..

ANYWAYS.......
My life hasn't been very kind to me lately...
You know how they say 'You are your own worst enemy'?
Well, sometimes you have to be your own best friend.
Yes you do...
Its sad but true...

SOOOOOOO........
I have been my own best friend lately...
I feel a certain distance to SOME people now...
And yes Mich and Joyce, I know I have been going NON STOP about De Notes, but I say a lot cuz i feel GREAT their. Its cool if you guys don't get it. Cuz at least I know I have something completely to myself. And I can kinda feel that you guys don't care, but its cool.. I don't care either... I care about me...

SOOOOO......
Have you ever felt alone even though there are hundreds of people around you?
I HAVE.. in class especially... Yeah, I know I've got Cammy. But do I REALLY have her?
idontthinkso....

OH YEAH....
And I HATE POSERS!!!!
Well, is that what you really call them?
Like, I hate those girls who are like 'Which boy should I lead on today, skip tomorrow and ditch the next day?... Hmmmm... Tough Tough Tough....'
Like, ewwww.. I just puked...
Well, you know what I mean right?
Like, HONESTLY? Why am I surrounded by shallow people? It sickens me..

OMG. I just realized that I SOOOOOO sound like kakak Nadira when SHE was 15.. YAY me... Now at least I know who I might become...

You know what?
I can't even remember what I really wanted to write today...
Well, I know its that I hate my life right this moment.
Won't hate tomorrow morning, cuz I'll be at De Notes... My sanctuary... HAHAHA....
Note to self: make sure to write about De Notes for the whole world to see. Cuz music people will love it...

What I really wanna say, I cannot...

Lets just put it at that...

Ok, lets try this

"Tell me where it hurts now, baby" I have no one to tell
"And I'll do my best to make it better" No one really can..
"I'll do my best to make those tears all go away" You're probably the reason

That was 'tell me where it hurts' by MYMP...

my first time/street theater

2008-06-30T06:25:00.000-07:00

Well, I have a blog.
Its like, a public diary. Do we really want the world to know every single thing about what's going in your life?
Well, I DO..
Well, not everything.
I will share memories, experiences, first times, last times, shocking moments. Everything I feel like writing.
Well, now I feel like writing about yesterday.

29th June 2008, Sunday, One Borneo Hyper mall.
STREET THEATER
Vic(great guitarist/'best friend'), Jason(another great finger stylist/ dunno if he's my Best friend, but he's definitely a friend) and I have been practicing our asses off for this day.
Practices every night for that whole week. I even skipped school on Friday for practice.
The De Notes (me music school. totally rocks!) environment of course made it comfortable for us. We didn't feel nervous or anything, UNTIL THE TIME CAME.
So, Sunday. Woke up so damn NERVOUS. Mom, once again put on her cape to become SuperMom and did me up quickly as time was not on our side.
Arrived at De Notes at about 11 am. Kevin (music teacher) sent Vic and Jason to 1 Borneo first with all the equipment to set up. And when Kev came back to pick up me and Eloise (another great singer/musician) my nerves were starting to get to me.
Well, anyways, we reached. last minutes sound check. Some Hong Kong superstarts went on stage first to promote their show later that day. Then IT WAS TIME. IT WAS OUR TURN.
Last minute hugs with friends before going on stage.
First, car horn solo by Shaun.
Second, Jason comes in with the primary chords to Kiss Me by Sixpence None The Richer.
Third, Vic goes on with the same chords for four bars.
Then they give me their signal and I come out from the back and go in with 'Kiss me out of the bearded barley'. Well, cuz, DUH. Those are the lyrics.
After that song, We did 'What A Wonderful World'. Sweet song right? We did a reggae version.
Then, called Eloise on stage and we did a duet. "I'm Yours" by Jason Mraz. Vic did a good solo in between verses. hehehehhe
She did one more song on her own after that.
Overall, I thought we did OOOKKKKAAAAYYY....
Wasn't GREAT! but, it was good.
But, my parents missed the performance. Eloise parents missed the performance. Vic's parents didn't come. And well, I don't think Jason's parents came either. But my mom and Bro were late as were Eloise's.
Well, I don't really know what else I can say about that day. I loved the expirence. I Love the people I did it with. I love the people that came to see us (THANKS CAMMY!) and I Love going to De Notes and the people there (xD LOL)

I guess this first entry for my first blog will be about that day and how I feel about how MUSIC. How it's so important in my life. And about the people I wanna forever surround myself with.

MUSIC IS MY LIFE